I'm going to be thankful I wrote down all this embarrassing bullshit because I will have been purged of all my negativity, finally allowing for the creation of something beautiful.

Perhaps this will be a useful space for one-liners and fragments of songs, poems, stories, etc.

Why I have to make this public... I'm an exhibitionist, and I'm vain. And I like the idea of "cyberfriends", totally removed from my life and yet totally involved.

Mixing beats:

1. Even with layers, use a minimal number of kits. Kits are like a palette or an architecture. Unless you're intentionally going wild, stick with sounds of the same family.

2. Tune the samples before EQ or compression. If the beat doesn't cohere with the rest of the mix, it's usually a simple tuning issue.

3. EQ out the highs of hats and snares/claps, EQ out the mid-lows/lows of kicks. Reverb is tricky; find other ways to solve the mixing issue before attempting it.

4. Pan the drums, but leave the kicks in the center. Use stereo separation on things like shakers and rides, maybe claps. But not hats. Not usually, at least.

5. Tweak the decay and make sure the step sequencer's cut settings are configured between drum hits, ie between closed and open hats; this makes a big difference when done correctly between kicks.

"I'm not rebellious by choice. I just can't help it. It's who I am."

I suppose that's a problematic statement; doesn't rebellion imply deliberateness, intent? And "who I am", what does that mean? So identity is contrived... by who? By superpowers and superstructures? Or is there some metaphysical essence soul-type thing (or is that DNA, which, according to Darwin, is a product of natural selection)?

In any case, I'm not going back to school. I'm living like a rebel as it is, I might as well go all the way and not be half-assed about academic institutions. I love knowledge and I love learning, it's just that I'm lazy for it when it's presented to me in a classroom setting.

I recall the very first blog entry I made for intricate-lies, and it seems like this is a convoluted echo of that same point. Haven't I learned?

Also, I'm aware that these kinds of musings are self-absorbed and the only way to break out of this bubble of self is to actually do something about what I'm musing about; at least so that as my life progresses, I can muse about other things, because I'm bored of myself at the moment.

So, I need a job!

I used to believe in the idea that choice of medium is the most urgent aspect of art. Meaning to say, each element of your work should be there for a reason, should be justified, and should contribute to organic unity and to the whole being greater than its parts.

(The best way for me to test this was to remove or distort a particular element of a work, and examine how the meaning of the whole changes, or worse, erodes.)

As a self-proclaimed songwriter, poet, essayist, and writer-in-general (not a fictionist though) I devised this medium-focused approach in order to justify why I had to write words to my music, or why I had to write words at all. (Or, why I had to set my words to music, and consequently why I had to write music at all.)

The intersection of textual and auditory is implicit (or is it? What about the deaf/hearing-impaired community?); as such the categorization/compartmentalization of these two senses is no longer as safisfying nor as productive as it was two or three years ago.

I'd like to think there's something I've outgrown (because growth implies progress) rather than exhausted in my previous theories. In any case, it seems that something has been lost. Or was found to be non-existent.

Perhaps my life's work is one continuous text which explores the aforementioned "textual-auditory intersection", rather than an accumulation of unmusical songs/unsong-y music. Perhaps all text is song (and music; hopefully this String Theory approach will prove fruitful).

I want someone who's smart. And who's discriminating, who knows good wine isn't based on price

and who knows that good wine isn't something you should drink every day

someone who isn't disgusted by the thought of eating fungusy cheese or raw fish

someone who appreciates roller coasters

someone who appreciates jazz and ambient electronica the same way she appreciates kink and light sado-masochism

someone who isn't afraid to try new things but doesn't try them for the sake of newness

I like the smell of roasted almonds, chocolate, coffee. Something feminine yet woody and musky but not really musky

I like when a woman (ang weird sabihin, I like "girls") falls asleep on my chest while I'm resting my lips on the top of her head.

I like breakfast, because we hardly ever have it at home. Maybe just a piece of fruit, a glass of milk, cheese or beans on toast, a cup of tea, then a cigarette.

midnight snack? more like midnight drink

Maybe a bloody mary with tabasco